One If By Land. Two if By Text. Three if by Twitter.
The Vonster Can Never Hide.
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year.
He said to his friend, “If the British march
By land or sea from the town to-night,
Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch
Of the North Church tower as a signal light,–
One if by land, and two if by sea;
And I on the opposite shore will be,
Ready to ride and spread the alarm
Through every Middlesex village and farm,
For the country folk to be up and to arm…”
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Longfellow immortalized the an accomplished designer, engraver, printer, silversmith named Paul Revere making the tale of his midnight ride, whatever its mild inaccuracies, a tale of courage and patriotism. Revere’s life would become legends not only American history but also in the annals of graphic arts. He inspired subsequent generations to careers in the crafts of printing, engraving, design and poster making.
One such is Von Glitschka, cartoonist, illustrator, designer, print maker soon rides into Boston to address his now commonly packed rooms at the HOW Design Conference. The scene this year its HOW Design LIVE in Boston where he and vour other populist poster makers speaking of innovation and revolution crowds. Von is among five good fellows who will be signing posters for one hour each at the Neenah Paper both inside Resource Center. The vun begins with Von, before patriots Justin Ahrens, Mikey Burton, Kody Chamberlain and Aaron Draplin take their seats with sharpie in hand. See schedule below for specific times.
Saturday, June 23 12:00- 1:00 The Vonster will sign 100 of these.Von Glitschka Company: Glitschka Studios Wife: Rebecca Glitschka Neighborhood: Walnut Grove Kids: Savannah (18), Alyssa (15) Passion: Gardening, Writing Pet: Snickers my Studio Cat Favorite RedSox (Not Red Sock): Yaz! (Current: Big Papi)
Boston Primer Professor: Which historic water hole is highest up on your list of What To Do When Ahm Blow’n Off Justin Ahwen’s Happy Talk?
@Vonster: In context of Justin, a bottle of Mad Dog and a gas station bathroom will suffice.
Boston Primer Professor: Did you know about Boston’s tourist clogged Freedom Trail? Where does Freedom start and end in Boston?
@Vonster: The “Ye Olde Inn?” I think you’re required to wear a powdered wig too. Which of course is now back in fashion.
Boston Primer Professor:Did you grow up enjoying the sermons of Cotton Mather or his fun loving pop, Increase Mather? When do you feel like a Puritan?
@Vonster: I prefer George Whitefield, an English circuit evangelist and life long friend of Ben Franklin. I feel most like a Puritan when I channel the fashion aesthetic of the Quaker Oats dude and sport a pair of knickers. That or any time I’m not hanging around Justin Ahrens.
Boston Primer Professor: How Justin Ahrens — or Kody, Mikey, or Aaron for that matter — can summon any association with Puritanism is beyond our ken. Nevertheless, who is your favorite Boston born world action hero? Choose anyone between William Bradford and Matt Damon but not Ben Affleck because I cannot stand him and I will not call positive attention to his name.
@Vonster: Three people I have to point out: Leonard Nimoy: Yep, Spock is a beantown native. Live long and prosper. Julius Erving: He had an awesome ‘vro in his early years in the NBA. Wicked dunkah! <—— Said with a Boston accent. Ralph Waldo Emerson: A stinkload of cool quotes from this guy.
Boston Primer Professor:We think Emerson would like the modern appellation STINKLOAD to describe his considerable output. Now, if some guy walked up to you in Boston and said, ‘you look like a good coxswain. Care to get inside my scull and take a ride?’ Would you slug them?
@Vonster: I’d suggest a soothing ointment to remedy his problem than share a knuckle sandwich with him.
Boston Primer Professor:You are a tender man, Vonster. How many lanterns were hung in the North Church steeple on the famous night of the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere?
@Vonster: Oneth by land. Twoeth by sea. Threeth by text message. Foureth by wormhole from the future. I guess it was twoeth?
Boston Primer Professor: Twoeth. The arriveth by boat then tooketh to land, but Paul Revere did not thinketh of option “All of the Aboveth’. Whom among HOW Design LIVE goers do you vote Most Likely to Get Arrested Giving John Harvard a Lap Dance while visiting the city?
@Vonster: This is easy: Karen Larson. Spurred on by Justin Ahrens of course.
Boston Primer Professor: Did you know the Glitschka is a South Boston term used in popular game of Westie tag? If you can guess the meaning of at least three of the following expressions, Neenah will buy you a hoodsie at the packie on the Fenway. For accurate translations, go to this scholarly guide from Boston University.
@Vonster: Lies make baby Jesus cry. Everyone knows “Glitschka” is Slavic for “Doorknob.”
a. Ghoulstickah: A Boston native saying “Cool Sticker!”
b. Stylene: What a Boston native says when they see a “Mullet.”
c. Take a Dudley: Boston parlance for “Crap.”
d. Dungahs/Dungies: What they call an Australian transplant in Boston.
e. Bubbla: What a Boston native calls “Champagne.”
f. Potty platta: What h’orderves are served on in Boston restrooms.
g. Triple Eagle: A Gold Coin? Or a very lucky golfer.